We as humans often ask who we are. Like, seriously, who am I?!
While we love to get fixated upon the truth of who we are, our true experience of our selves does not rest in the "facts" - it rests in the story we create of ourselves.
Not only that, the story we create of our selves becomes the roadmap for how we operate in this world; with our self-image becoming a self-fulfilling feedback loop.
An example of this is how we can often justify not doing things we actually want to do because we say "oh that's not like me". So we put ourselves in a box because it doesn't neatly nestle next to the image we have in our head of who we are and what we normally do.
That means we stunt our own natural evolution in many ways because of our fixed self-concept / self-image. Other aspects of nature (for, of course, we are simply nature) are not limited in the same capacity. In nature, if it can grow it does. There is no question of "should". If the soil is ripe and ready, when the seed is planted if the conditions are supportive, it will grow. There is no question of worthiness or morality.
The seed doesn't say "it's not like me to crack open and expand", it just does.
Although, for all the ways we change, many of us have a consistent essence that feels like us. And yet, who are we really?
It could be said that there is no single truth to who we are. Ask your mum or your ex and you're likely to get very different accounts of who we are. If you told me who you were after you'd got a new balla' haircut vs. after your boss ripped you a new one, I imagine who you thought you were would differ.
The story we tell ourselves consists of reference points (memories we cling to, personality traits, mannerisms, long-held desires, fears, beliefs etc.) that we weave into a coherent story to explain who we are. And yet, far from being objective, in weaving a pattern we often tend to gloss over things that don't fit into our personal beliefs.
If someone believes they are a shy person, they will tend to use memories of not knowing what to say or getting stage fright to justify their belief. And yet, the times they cracked jokes in front of their best mates or stood up to a school bully often slips through the cracks of their memory when thinking of "me".
Every day, in every exchange, we are re-creating our identity based on how we genuinely believe ourselves to be. So if you believe you're not good enough as you are, you will consistently show up in a way that confirms that belief.
In a cruel, but consistent, manner the people in our lives become a mirror for that belief and unknowingly act in a way that seeks to confirm what we fear most about our selves.
It may seem cruel that life keeps bombarding us with the same treatment (the same shitty patterns, vices, fuck ups and insecurities), but it is life making manifest what we believe so we may finally resolve it in the light of our consciousness.
Once we stop taking our experiences so personally (and internally creating a constant attack on our already fragile egos) we realise that life is neutral; it's just a reflection and projection of what we believe. It's not that the world out there doesn't exist, but what we will internally experience (what we will make TRUE in our lives) is always created by the beliefs we have.
When I say projection I mean that literally. Through your beliefs, fears, insecurities, passions and preferences you will prioritise a certain portion of existence. At any given moment we are absolutely bombarded with millions of pieces of information / vibrations, only a portion of which we can consciously process. We tell our minds what's important for us to remember based on the beliefs that we have.
And so our minds get to work, only ever seeking to take in information that confirms the belief we currently have. Of course, life can falsify it and surpass it with superior / higher reasoning - but it is always a "shock" / revelation to the normal programming / patterning.
When we attach to our mind, to our stories, and to the certainty of what we know, we are asking for life to simply say "yes" to what we already know, or "no" (in an often bitchy tone).
When we loosen the reigns on the stories we hold (about our selves, the world, "those" people, ANY thing) we become the seeker that gives the universe no choice other than to keep expanding it.
The teacher will continue to convey from the limits of his understanding. The student will never stop growing.
You do not need to fixate on your story to know yourself. If you do not seek to define yourself - you will still exist, I promise.
I know you love your story. You memorise it so you know how to prime others to treat you. But you don't need it anymore...
The nature of us is innate: it just IS. We can throw away the cue cards! We can throw away the agendas! We can step back from who we think we are or who we "should" be, according to "them"; which is, in reality, just how we externalise our own beliefs and pretend we're limited by "the world". Uh uh sweetheart, we're just justifying our limitations and blaming errrrrrrryone else.
So if you want chocolate today but vanilla tomorrow, you don't need to pathologize yourself for it or wonder what type of person that makes you.
You can just be you, as best as you can be, in the present moment. You are who you are. It is what it is. And there's nothing you need to do other than the best you can in any given moment.
That's all we ever do. Martin Luther King Jr., he was just doing the best he could given what he knew. Batman, he was just doing the best he could given what he knew. Snooki, she was just doing the best she could given what she knew.
Sometimes what we know, based on the priorities / focus we have, means that what we know is less relevant to world peace and is more supportive of successful slut drops and how to get home when you're blackout drunk... But that doesn't make it any less important to the intricate fabric of human existence. Maybe Batman would've defeated The Joker straight away if he had that information...
I'm going to wrap this up 'cos I'm clearly rambling!
People often think this is "woo woo" and "too deep", but I will provide peace of mind for you intellectuals, scholars and natural skeptics out there (for I am one too):
Even though I believe we see what we believe (and not the other way around as we're usually cultured to believe), that doesn't mean that we can necessarily change the natural course of events... I couldn't say that with certainty, for I only know what I've experienced.
While I believe we live in a universe that operates under attractional law (like energies attract like energies), you don't need to buy into these pseudo-sciences to appreciate how this helps!
Because even if our beliefs and intentions affected nothing, interacted with nothing and had no co-creative capacities in the energetic grid / world / life around us, our beliefs are what we will focus on and, therein, what we feel, see and experience.
So why wouldn't we want to experience our lives as a fucking glorious version of our selves?!
Gooooooo on then - see yourself as the unique, irreplaceable expression of divine nature that you are - you know it's true! Or, at least, it could be if you wanted it to be :)